STMC Reunion

Over two decades have passed on by and even the passage of time couldn't stop the comfortable familiarity I felt when we mingled together in the cosy surroundings of the Loungeroom at the Plough Inn on Saturday night. In someways it was comparable to a homecoming.

As I sit here now recalling the event I wonder to myself why it was I felt so nervous in the hours leading up to it & how silly I was for allowing myself to feel that way. My nerves were soothed a little with the aid of few medicinal drinks administered by my loving husband in the hours before arriving at the reunion.

I entered through the doors of the Plough Inn & my heart went into a staccato beat as my eyes scanned the room and were met with a sea of friendly STMC faces looking back at me. It was my highschool family & they were reentering my life after all these years.

Sadly there were a few faces missing, some of whom would really have loved to been there sharing the moment with us but couldn't others whom through sad turns of fate will never be able to attend. I was amazed at the great number that did attend. I would estimate that it would have been half of our grades population, which is pretty spectacular, I reckon!

It was just so easy, the evening progressed along so smoothly, everyone was so friendly. It just goes to show what a truly wonderful group of kids we must have been to able to kick off from where we finished all those years ago.

There were a few moments throughout the evening when I just stood back to soak up the moment, to submit to memory a visual image of the evening & just observe everyone interacting. It was wonderful to see the boyish banter of the 40 something year old men as they reminisced over the old school days & the highjinks that they used to get up to. Such as the girls they kissed, the pranks they played on each other, the competitive streak that most men possess & lets not forget to mention the school yard brawls. Seeing them egg each other to consume excessive amounts of alcoholic was reminiscent of the high school parties of all those years ago. With each drink consumed their boyish persona's were creeping nearer & nearer to the surface. I found this highly entertaining...especially when I overheard conversations about what girl had the best breasts in highschool & an elaborate plots being hatched on how they were going to save the world single handedly. Absolutely hilarious nonsense!!

Also to see the sheepish shyness of some of the woman as they returned to their girlhoods when their 'love crushes' from all those years ago, entered the room. It is really amazing how strong those highschool crushes can be. The feelings & emotions that were very real all those years ago seemingly bubble to the surface in the presence of that person. It is really quite sweet!

Yep ... I loved it! The only disappointment I have is that we ran out of time. We will have to do it again & soon!

What a Beautiful View You Are!

I have always love the words to this Wendy Matthews song ... the words always have my mind racing to thoughts of my wonderful green eyed husband!


What a beautiful view you are
eyes deep ocean green,
what a radiant sun you are
lighting everything I see

so don't be scared
silence is a wall between us
can't you hear that all I want is you?

what a beautiful view you are
don't change

What incredible skies they are
wrapped 'round us tonight
you're all the sleeping stars
and I'm the satellites

let all those fears rest in your imagination
I just want to lie here in our
constellation

what a beautiful view you are
don't change

(do do do do...)

let all the dark clouds
rain beneath your mind's horizon
can't you see there's nothing but skies of blue and they're you, oh

don't change
what a beautiful view you are
don't change

Reunited!

Well it's the night before the eve of my highshool reunion. It has been 25 years since since I last entered the front gates of the college & yet I can remember it like it was yesterday.
So I sit here now ... close my eyes & I am entering the gates once again. I can envisage in my minds eye exactly how it looked back then. I can recall all the faces, some of them friendly & others not so friendly.
I remember the clicks, the groups of friends huddled together in their favourtie hang outs! I've just walked past the tuckshop, I look to my right & I see the stairs that lead down to Mr Berends Coffee shop & also to the boy who stole my heart. To the left I see the beautiful, friendly faces of my friends playing basketball & sitting up against the wall of A Block chatting away. Oh I do like how this feels. Wow!! We all look so young...we're fresh faced & bright eyed. How amazing would it be to have the wisdom & the knowledge of the last 25 years & make a trip back in time to visit that younger me. Oh my there are so, so many things I would tell myself.

I would say: Katherine

Accept yourself just the way your are.

Don't listen to the words of those whom don't have your best interests at heart.

Have more faith in your abilities.

Don't be afraid of trying new things because your scared of failure.

It is OK to be the person you are, ... you don't have to be societies vision of what it thinks is perfection.... you are beautiful & worthwhile just as you are!

You have a lot to offer ... don't sit in the backseat!

If people say nasty things to you ... know within yourself that these things hold no truth ... shake it off like water off a ducks back.

Sometimes I wish I could go back, even just for a day and show my gratitude to some very special people. I would tell them how much their friendship meant to me then & now! I would tell them the same things I would tell myself.

Yes ... I have many a fond memory of those years!

So it is with nervous anticipation that I go back ... I won't be going back through the gates of the college & I won't be traveling back in time through my minds eye but I will be going back into the arms of some of those beautiful people from my past and this makes me happy & know it will be good! Reunited after 25 years!!

Pelicans!

Percival the Pelican



This photo was taken in the gardens of Sea World on the Gold Coast. This is a sanctuary for all the bird life in the area. The pelicans gather in mass here of an evening.



We call this cats tails or pussy willow ... but really have no idea what it's real name is! But I love it none the less.

Use Your Gift

GIFT


Like a seed that awaits beneath the earths crust
Awaiting the day it will break through the dust
A perfect creation made by our Lord
A beauty of nature to be seen & adored

Your personal gift that our God hath bestowed
Is a gift of expression that not many have known
You can make an impression an imprint on ones heart
If you use your gift wisely, in a way that is smart

In a world full of turmoil, destruction & pain
There is hope for a world that is at peace once again
So harness your knowledge and the love of your art
Send out your message and soften young hearts

Katherine F

Mooloolaba Under Moonlit Skies!

"Can we go again?" I ask my husband as I show him the photos we took on our weekend away. His response was quick & decisive... a definite yes, was his reply. He, like me, can't wait to do it again. It was a rejuvenating, romantic & a very relaxing mini break away from the stressors of normal every day life. I absolutely love connecting with nature and being on the beach under a moonlit sky is very special way of doing that. Even more so when you are in the company of the one you love. When I cast my eyes to the sea & the sky I am transported to a place of peace & clarity.

This photo was taken by my husband at Mooloolaba Beach on the Sunshine Coast of Queensalnd. Prior to the taking of this photo we had a delightfully romantic moonlit dinner of Grilled Salmon & Salad, whilst dining alfresco under the moonlit sky. After which we bought Baskin & Robins ice-cream and went for a magical stroll on the beach.

It was an evening of perfect weather, perfect company, perfect food & a perfect location.

Water Lizard

This is a Water Dragon Lizard native to Australia. This photo was taken in the manicured gardens of Warner Brothers Movie World on Queenslands Gold Coast. The lizards gather there of an evening to feed on insects & they aren't scared of the public. It seems that they actually stand & pose...cheeky little beggers.

Kirra!

This is our furry little friend Kirra! Kirra is the most spoilt & loved cat in all of Brisbane. He has a tendency to wind up in the strangest of places...just as in this photo of him taking a nap in my new stainless steel colander. He is such a sneak .. he knows he's not allowed on the kitchen benches!
Anything new that is introduced into the house, he has to become acquainted with, doesn't matter what it is, he just has to check it out!

Lake Kindilan

This is Lake Kindilan it is located within the grounds of Outdoor Education &. Conference Centre at Mt Cotton, in the Redlands area. It is located within a lush bushland & caters well for the needs of people with disabilities. Our clients have participated in great activities such as archery, canoeing, high ropes, low ropes, bush dancing, spotlighting etc.

Daisy Hill Forest

This photo was taken in Daisy Hill Forest in Brisbane, Queensland. After seeing a photo of beautiful redwood trees on a fellow bloggers blog... I felt compelled to share a picture of one of our beautiful native trees.
This is a eucalyptus tree, which is also the main food source for a native Koala.

My.. My..My... Beautiful Sunday!

My...My...My... Beautiful Sunday!

This morning we took our youngest son Matt to the Fan Day of his favourite Rugby League Football Team ... The Brisbane Broncos! There were hundreds of devoted supporters of all ages gathered there to meet their football heroes. All of them so keen to meet their favourite sporting heroes that not even a downpour of rain was enough to chase these avid fans away. My son lined up for almost 3 hours to have his photo taken with the players and when he did he left a very happy chappy indeed!





My other son Luke & I decided to run for cover & went to hang out in the Club House. We started by putting a few dollars in the pokie machines just to pass the time. Just as we settled into our seats to have a flutter an elderly, well dressed gentleman came over & sat in the seat next to ours.

Luke & I are not well practiced in the use of pokie machines & Luke turned to ask me for instructions on what to do. I responded by informing him I had no idea & that we would just fluke our way through it.

The man leant over towards us & offered his assistance. He instructed my son on how to make a bet & what buttons to push. At the end of which he said..."You do realise that my charge for tuition is 10% of whatever you win!" This then struck up a nice conversation & within the space of around 20 minutes this lovely man had shared a little slice of his life with us & it had quite surprisingly left an imprint on our hearts.

He talked about how times have changed & how technology had improved things for the younger generations, making comment on how they will not have to do the back breaking labour of his era. He shared with us what it was like to live through the depression. He spoke of how banks folded & with their demise, people lost their savings & many of them their homes. He recalled having to line up for food tickets at the police station for hours at a time. This happened once every fortnight. There were also long lines where the unemployed men & woman would line up for hours in hope of getting a job until all jobs were filled. They would then go home & return again the next morning.

He also described how those lucky enough to get a job didn't really have any security in their job, everyday with of work was a blessing. He recalled how they would put men to work labouring, digging trenches, roads & how the foreman would walk around with a fist full of dirt waiting for someone to slacken off. Even standing up to stretch, to relieve back cramping was considered slackening off. If the foreman caught anyone doing this he would take the fist of dirt & throw it on the ground in front of the so-called slacker & send them on their way. Within seconds another labourer, who would have been waiting in a line outside, would be called into to resume digging.

He told us how as a child he used to play football. He said he had always had such a passion for the game & that was why he still liked to frequent the club all these years later.
He spoke of a time whilst in war & under enemy attack .. another soldier discharged his weapon right next to his right ear & how ever since he has had to live with a constant ringing in his ear, a condition known as tinitis. I asked him was there anything the medical field could do to help him & he said no. He said at night the only way he could get sleep was to distract himself with the wireless. A bit of background noise helped a little to drown out the ringing.

He told me that he was also suffering from war related emphysema which he said had slowed him down considerably but that it wasn't gonna stop him from enjoying what time he had left.

He said ... I have given up smoking.... I have given up alcohol... & unfortunately have also given up that other thing that us men love to do! Very cheeky indeed!

As we got up to leave...with an outstretched hand he shook my sons hand & introduced himself as Vince. He took his other hand and place it on top of Lukes hand saying to Luke.."I wish for you a long & happy life son. I am a good judge of character & I can see you are a good lad." We wished him a good life in return & left. As we walked away my son turned to me with tears in his eyes & said to me, " Mum he is such a beautiful soul."

So in conclusion... he gave us a lesson in the proper use of pokie machines & a lesson in life!

Remove the Stigma & Understand!

Mental Illness...A cursed, cruel & stigmatic illness. A sentence that those inflicted neither deserve or want. It is one of my greatest wishes that this illness was better understood by society as a whole. That people didn't shy away from those suffering this infliction. It is an illness, like any other. It is as much treatable as diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol etc

He went to the hospital, troubled & desperate for an end to the noises that invaded his head. He needed a bed, a place where he would feel safe from himself. He was left to sit in a waiting room with the sick & injured whilst in this state.
He should have been admitted but there were no mental health beds available, not just in this hospital, but in any hospital in South East Queensland. There is something seriously wrong with this picture.

This man was fortunate in the fact that he had family that cared for him but there are many that suffer this illness in solitude. They have no one. They are ostracized from family, friends & society at a time when they need someone to care for them more than ever.

This illness is not prejudiced in who it inflicts, it can happen to anyone at anytime. I have seen it in waiting rooms in hospitals, in treatment facilities & in the community. It can affect young, old, rich & poor. It is not selective!

We as a society need to be more compassionate & understanding.

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/

Beg to Differ!

Well not all days are diamonds of that I am sure!

I've definitely had better days than this ... but that's ok!

Its the bad days that make the good days feel so good!

On the most part, my life with him is wonderful. But sometimes, just sometimes ... it can also be quite a challenge.

We have always been polar opposites in many ways.

He is stoic & strong and I am meek & mild.
He is forthright & outspoken and I am reflective & introspective.
He is very logical in his thinking, to him things are black & white.
I on the other hand believe that there is a lot of grey & not everything has a logical answer.

I guess this is what attracted us to eachother in the first place. I saw things in him that I admired, things that were strengths in him but weaknesses in me.

So today was crap! We traded what could have been a beautiful day on a day of disharmony. How very foolish!

Fortunately though we have always had an agreement that we never let the sun go down on a fight.

So on this topic that caused us grief today ... we will just beg to differ!

I will never agree with him or he with me about this one thing, but there are too many other things that we do agree on, so I can live with this one!

A Senseless Loss!

On Monday morning a bit after 8:30am a young life was lost. A 12 year old boy was stabbed in the chest by a fellow student aged 13 at a private Catholic College in the outer suburbs of Brisbane.

The 12 year old was rushed to hospital where he died a short time later. Upon hearing this news on television my eyes instantly welled with tears. I was so shell shocked & saddened that such a terrible thing could have occurred among those so young.

My thoughts instantly turned to the parents of the child. I was thinking about the hours preceding this event. About the child's last breakfast with his parents, about the idle chit chat that would have taken place in the morning when they were getting ready for work & school. I was thinking about the false sense of security that would have had them believing internally that there would be many, many more of these Normal Mornings!

My thoughts then turned to the phone call that his parents would have a received. The kind of phone call that no parent ever wants to receive. My heart sank so deep into the pit of my stomach just thinking about how this would feel.

An influx of questions flooded my mind, trying to find answers as to why something so terrible could happen. It was such senseless & tragic loss of young life.

I can't help thinking why a 13 year old child would feel that stabbing someone else would be the only solution to a problem. What was going through his mind at the time?

This terrible event has occupied my thoughts all week. I have a child the same age as these boys & it is scary to think that he is living in times such as these.

It is sad, sad thing that has happened.

I think we as parents need to stand up & fill the shoes that we ourselves decided to put on when we made the decision to become parents. We need to be more aware of what is happening in the lives of our children, who our children are friends with. Meet the parents of their friends. We need to be more active participants in their lives, talk more to them & find out whats going on in their heads.
After all we brought them into this world & it is our responsibility to ensure that they are safe, happy, responsible young people.

I can't help believing that Bullying had something to do with this!

Schools need to take bullying very seriously!

The Neglected Ones!

Earlier this week I watched a documentary about the state of disability services in Australia, it was called 'Breaking Point'! I think the title 'Breaking Point' is quite a conservative title to be quite frank ... I have actually seen families go beyond breaking point to the point of ruin. The disintegration of the family unit, broken marriages is rife in families living with the strain that occurs when caring for a loved one with a disability, especially those that have disabilities that cause unwanted challenging behaviours. I have seen families, so desperate for assistance, that are suffering from sheer exhaustion .. they have felt they had no other avenue than to relinquish the care of their loved ones giving up their parental rights by handing them over to the state. It is a drastic measure but for some it seems to them to be the only option available. It is a sure fire way of receiving the care required to alleviate the situation. That.. or as is mentioned in the documentary ... being taken away in pine box.

The variance of feelings I experienced whilst watching this program left me feeling angry & exhausted by the emotion that I felt.

The field of disability services is filled with truly wonderful & caring workers but yet the system as it exists today is in ruins. It is a fact that the need for a variety of disability services is in such high demand. The 'need' for these services far outweighs what is available in this country. Funding is limited & there is most definitely not enough. I personally feel that the criteria for services is selective & unfair. I believe that what is good for one should be good for all...but sadly this isn't how it is!

There are waiting lists of up to 3 years for some services & the sad reality is that many families looking for assistance are in heart rendering situations & are desperate for the help ... YESTERDAY not years from now! Tomorrow may be too late for some!!! This is a case where the saying, "Better late than never" holds no truth!

Disability Services in Australia needs reform & it needs it now!!

Let's not neglect these wonderful people & their families any longer. We are supposed to be a lucky country but yet I see no luck in this situation. Life has already dealt these people more than their fair share of troubles & hurdles. Wouldn't it be lovely if we could make their lives just a little easier. They deserve it!

Beautiful Romantic Sunday - Valentines Day!

Eddie took me for a romantic drive up to Tamborine Mountain. He know's just how much I love it there.
The drive up was magical. The flora was lush & green after big, much needed downpour of rain over the last few weeks.

We meandered our way up to the top of the mountain not realising that the country markets were on. We decided to stop an have a little gander at all the stalls. We made a tiny purchase of freshly made chocolate & caramel fudge. Mmm..mmm...mmm... After this we went to the Tamborine Botanical Gardens for a picnic lunch & a wonder through the magical gardens.

We entered into the gardens along rocky paths surrounded by picturesque gardens with beautiful trees, plants, shrubs & flowers from all over the world. We crossed over the pond on a quaint stone bridge. The pond was filled with fresh rainwater from recent downpour & was blanketed with white water lillies, it was quite serene. This led to a Wisteria covered pergola which ran the length of pathway. Walking under there I could just imagine how pretty it would look when it was in full bloom. We will definitely have to go back there to see that in September - October.

We were on a search for the perfect little spot to rest and have our picnic. We walked through the Japanese Garden, Rose garden, Bromeliad garden and along the Cherry Blossom lined path to the beautiful Rotunda surrounded by purple & white Agapanthus, where we sat to have lunch. It was picture perfect!!!

I wish everyday could be filled with such natural beauty. I felt so at peace! It was just so lovely!

Cinnamon & Honey !

I was having a conversation with a client of mine whom was a child growing up during the great depression. She was recalling how hard it was to see a doctor in the outback during these very difficult times, explaining to me how the doctor would visit their town once every 3 weeks. So if you got sick or injured during the times in between.... home remedies were used.

Then she shared with me some of the remedies & preventatives of old. One of these was Honey & Cinnamon. After she finished explaining to me all the benefits of taking this home remedy I said that I would have to give it a go. She promptly alighted from her chair & brought out a big jar of some she had prepared earlier. She scooped out a generous sized spoonful for me to try. It was really yummy & had a gritty texture, I liked it! I actually think it might be quite nice on a nice piece of fresh damper or a hot scone. So with this new found knowledge I came home & did a bit of research & here is what I found.

The combination of honey and cinnamon has been used in oriental medicine for centuries. Cinnamon is one of the oldest spices known to mankind and honey has also been popular for centuries. The two ingredients are known to have unique healing abilities and have a long history of use as a home remedy.
Cinnamon’s essential oils and honeys enzyme that produces hydrogen peroxide qualify the two “anti-microbial” foods with the ability to help stop the growth of bacteria as well as fungi. Both are used not just as a beverage flavoring and medicine, but also as an embalming agent and are used as alternatives to traditional food preservatives due to their effective antimicrobial properties. People have claimed that the mixture is a natural cure for many diseases and a formula for many health benefits:


1) HEART DISEASES: Apply honey and cinnamon powder on bread instead of using jam or butter and eat it regularly for breakfast.

2) ARTHRITIS: Apply a paste made of the two ingredients on the affected part of the body and massage slowly.

3) HAIR LOSS: Apply a paste of hot olive oil, a tablespoon of honey, a teaspoon of cinnamon powder before bath, leave it for 15 min and wash.

4) BLADDER INFECTIONS: Mix cinnamon powder and honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink.

5) TOOTHACHE: Apply a paste of cinnamon powder and honey and on the aching tooth.

6) CHOLESTEROL: Add honey to cinnamon powder mixed in boiled water or green tea and drink.

7) COLDS: Make a glass of lukewarm honey water mixed with cinnamon powder to help boost your immune system during the cold season. It may also help to clear your sinuses.

8) INDIGESTION: Cinnamon powder sprinkled on a spoonful of honey taken before food relieves acidity.



9) LONGEVITY: Regularly take tea made with honey and a little cinnamon powder.

10) PIMPLES: Mix honey with cinnamon powder and apply paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash away the next morning.

11) OBESITY: To reduce weight, daily drink a mixture of a teaspoon of honey with half a teaspoon of cinnamon powder boiled in water with an empty stomach in the morning about half an hour before breakfast. Read: Cinnamon and Honey Recipe.

Cinnamon has an insulin boosting property (water soluble compounds called polyphenol type A polymers)which have the ability to boost insulin activity about 20 fold and can benefit people who have high sugar levels (obese people, pre-diabetics and diabetics ). Also, read the honey hibernation diet theory to find out how honey contributes to the metabolizing of undesirable cholesterol and fatty acid, provides a fuelling mechanism for the body, keep blood sugar levels balanced, and let our recovery hormones get on with burning body fat stores.

12) BAD BREATH: Gargle with honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water so that breath stays fresh throughout the day.

Honey plus cinnamon together besides being a amazing potential cure for so many illnesses, their total fragrant, sweet and warm taste is also a perfect match for the palate. The combination adds a magic effect to the taste of cakes, breads, biscuits and rolls and is known to make many winning recipes in the world of delicious food, such as the famous, easy-to-make, kids' favourite classic - honey and cinnamon butter toast!

Valentines Eve!

It's Valentines Day Eve ... tonight my husband & I have decided that we are deserving of a romantic interlude... Just the 2 of us!

We have our Gold Class Movie tickets, our dinner is booked, we have chocolates for the film & the only other thing we need is ourselves.

Our needs are simple ... the love we share doesn't really take too much to make the magic happen. Just being with him,alone, is special in itself!

It is hard when your house is full of other bodies, these 3 bodies being my 3 sons...aged 23,21 & 13.

I'm not sure what they would think if they saw a pathway of rose petals & candles all the way up the hallway & into the bedroom.

Although this would be lovely!!! I am thinking to myself that next Valentines Day we may need to spoil ourselves just that little bit more.

I'm thinking of a quaint little cottage in the mountains where no one else is in sight. A romantic dinner prepared by the best chef in the world... my husband, followed by an equally as beautiful desert delicately created by Mwa!
I'm thinking candles, roses, music, fireplace, bubble bath, massage & lot's of love!!

Yep ... It's a date! It may be a year in advance....but it is a date!

I'm just thinking it may deserve a dummy run ... say maybe the weekend after next!

I'll have to talk to the boss!!

The Mars Bar Debate!

I promised myself I would not do it! But, I did!

I gave into temptation & I am so , so disappointed with myself!

I had a Mars Bar! I haven't had one for ages & for some stupid reason, I wanted one today!

So there I was in the cue at the service station waiting to pay for my fuel. I saw the Mars Bar & the debate within my head began. The debate of for & against, of should I & shouldn't I! Anyone who has battled the bulge, will be able to relate to the battle I speak of.

Well the debate team in the 'For'corner of my head won the battle & subsequently the Mars Bar was purchased & the Mars Bar was eaten. Although I enjoyed it, I felt terribly guilty afterwards.

Somehow I need to strengthen my 'Against' Debate Team & take control of this battle within my head!

I want to be healthy, feel healthy & broaden my horizons in this life & I want this life to be a long one! In order to do that I need to win more debates.

I must start now! Time is a wasting!

In their shoes!

Can you imagine for a moment living in their shoes?
The shoes of those whom live with disabilities. Because that is all we can really do, is to imagine! No one can know their personal struggles, feel their pain or the feel the emotions they feel. We can only imagine!

This, I believe, can only be achieved with an open & tender heart. By mentally putting yourself into the shoes of another and imagining their existence, imagining waking every day with all the challenges, the staring eyes upon us & having to depend more on others. It is overwhelming & if it is overwhelming for us then imagine what it is like for them!!

I learned the art of putting myself into the shoes of others from a very early age. Living life with a brother who had a disability came with a whole array of challenges but it also came with many blessings. He ultimately was one of my greatest teachers & still is... he taught me the art of patience, through his love. He has one of the biggest hearts, if not the biggest hearts of anyone I know. He shows such a great capacity to love & forgive.

Unfortunately I have learned through my experiences that not everyone has the ability to recognize the struggles of others & show empathy toward others. Some people live their lives in a text book world of black & white. In a world of case studies, text book solutions, policies, procedures, structural guidelines & selfishness. ...but what they fail to consider in the equation is that these are people with real feelings & real emotions. They are individuals that have different life experiences (a lot of whom have had less than optimal experiences in life) and their lives are very far from the black & white world that these people are so very fond of. They have lives that are coloured with numerous shades of grey, red, blue, yellow & green as well... a kaleidoscope of colours & shades. What is good for one is not necessarily good for another. How very naive is their way of thinking.

It has taken me 3 years to build the relationships I have with my clients. I understand them, they trust me & feel safe in my company. I don't want them to feel inferior in my presence or just think that I am just their 'carer'. It has always been my main aim to forge relationships of trust, respect & encouragement. I want my clients to feel nothing but 'normal' when they are with me. I want them to feel special , but not special because of their disability. I SEE them for who they are... thinking, feeling people with much to offer.

I feel so angry today! I've been on holidays for that last 6 weeks & was told that whilst I was on holidays my clients refused care after they were sent carers they were not happy with. This created problems with administration. Administrations solution to this problem was to take alternate weeks shifts away from me & give it to another carer so that the client gets used to different people coming to see them to prevent this happening again. How ridiculous!
So I am being punished for doing my job well! Go figure! They do a crappy job & I pay the penalty. Well... I will fight it... for myself & for my clients.
My clients were so pleased when I returned to work saying that they were unhappy with the carers that had been sent & that was why they canceled respite. Telling me things like... she fell asleep in the lounge, she just sat there & said nothing, she kept going outside to smoke all the time.

I am really struggling at the moment with this whole situation. I feel so angry ... so angry that I am ready to pop! I want to scream!!

If only there was a way that they could experience even a smidgen of what these people & their families have endured in life .... and then put them back in this situation and see if they would see things with the same tunneled vision!

A Natural Talent!

My eldest son is an amazing artist. I have yet to see a medium that he can't work with. I often wonder where he gets this talent from because I am most definitely lacking in the area of creativity.
It's possible the day I was born god ran out of creativity bones & gave me an extra helping of caring bone. Maybe this was his was all part of a long term plan for me , to ready me for everything that lay ahead. His father is a clever man & is good with his hands but in a different way. His talent is with all things wood. So I guess there is a possibility he may have got some of his talent from his father.


My son is what many refer to as naturally gifted in all areas of art, a natural talent.
From as far back as I memories will allow me to travel I can recall a little cherubic boy, with rose bud lips & a head full of dark springy ringlets of hair.... sitting on the floor with paper & pencils always at the ready. He could sit for hours and draw perfect, perfect pictures. Even when we would go out in the car he would have to bring along his own little kit of special things. Inside this kit were pencils, paper (lots of it), ninja turtles & his dinosaurs.

Although extremely talented in this area he has also had a to face a terrible amount of hurdles with the sufferance of mental illness. It has been a long road to acceptance of having this but he is now on the road to understanding, accepting & living with this illness. He is learning to realise that he has an illness & that he is not the illness.

His passion has shifted over the years from drawing to movie production. There is still an element of drawing involved with this though with his storyboarding but he has also become quite creative with set design & building, prop creation, make-up, costume design, filming, photography & editing. He is a perfectionist at what he does & has magnificent attention for detail.

Many have noticed his talent but due to his illness he has been unable to make the most of opportunities that have come his way.

I pray that now he is recovering & learning to manage his illness that he gets his rewards and is able to find work in the field he so loves. Because this is how it should be!!!

Special Moments In Time.

The last few weeks have unexpectedly ended up being a busy time for reminiscing. This reminiscing was sparked by my Aunt who posted some old family photos on her blog, some of these pics date back to the late 1920's when my grandfather & grandmother were on their honeymoon overseas. I had never seen these photos of my grandparents before ... so it was like a window into the past. It gave me a little insight into what it must have been like for them in those days. As I look at these moments captured in time I think to myself ... this time is more like me. I have always felt like a bit of an old soul, that my personality & nature would have been better suited to times of old.

Also in these photos were photos of me, my sister, my brother & my cousins when we were just children. I was amazed that with the aid of these photos memories came flooding back in. Memories that for sometime had been lost in dark & stagnant crevices of my mind. I had an awakening of the feelings that I experienced as a child. The excitement of holidays, of christmas and of visiting my Nannas Place which as a child was one of my favourite places to be.

I can't wait to see more of these specially captured moments in time.

I'm not a Robot!

A war is happening today. A war between my heart & my head. I wish I had the courage & the fortitude to tell these money driven, managerial executives that money is not the be all & end all of everything.

One would think that being a Christian Organisation that supposedly runs it service under a christian ethos that they would take a more compassionate & caring approach to the service they provide.

We are not just providing care in the physical sense of the word but we are also nurturing the hearts & minds of some very special people. I have tried in desperation to look at the situation from every angle but am at a loss to see things through the same eyes that they do.

It has been heart-wrenchingly sad to watch this beautiful thing crumble. Wonderful relationships had been made. Relationships of trust, respect, empathy, love & understanding. It had a family feel that I thought was quite unique in this day & time. I was once proud to announce to others whom I worked for. Our clients & their families were happy always praising the wonderful care that we provided. Then things changed!!

This thing that us carers do is not just a job. It is a calling. Well at least this is how I see it!

They stipulate to you during training that we must keep our relationships strictly business. Unfortunately most people who work in this field by choices made of the heart will surely struggle with this. I know I do, everyday! A person whom may work in this field out of the necessity to make an income, may be able to do otherwise.

I find it impossible to separate my emotions & my natural instinct when caring for others. I always believed this quality in me to be a gift but now that this world has seemingly lost it's common sense, this thing that I considered a gift is now apparently non-professional & a hindrance to the world of Policies & Procedures. I understand the need for policies & procedures but I have also seen the obstructive effects that they can also have. We are of course firstly thinking & feeling human beings .... not robotic puppets as this world is now asking us to be.

The way I see it is quite simple. If a person is in need .... They ARE In Need! There is nothing complicated about that. It is what it is!!

I cast my thoughts to times gone by. To a world that was more concerned with helping those in need. Now our world is a world of litigation, policies n procedures, political correctness & paperwork.

I feel a deep sadness because I fear what the future holds for my children & their children.